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12:01pm 19/09/2009
a draft from this summer...
I've recently run into a bit of bad luck financially...and by bad luck I mean extremely bad planning.  what's new?  c'est la vie? I'll stick with that.  This summer certainly has been filled with its ups and downs, ins and outs, etc.  Some days I feel incredible other days I feel as though I feel as anxious as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.  I really ought to see someone for this anxiety I think, sometimes its pretty potent.  Unfortunately, however, I am no longer covered under my mom's insurance..so therapy will have to wait until the fall; I should have done something sooner..god damn hindsight! 

I went to Colorado last week with a new friend of mine, annie.  It was exhilerating to have done something so spontaneous..she asked me to go and I accepted.  This summer is truly shaping up to be one of leisure and ambivalence.  again..c'est la vie...well its my vie anyway.  she and I went on a great hike in the mountains (we were staying in boulder)

more recently..
my first week of graduate school seems very similar to my first week of my undergraduate degree...except sans proximity confusion.  I can honestly say that I feel remarkably motivated.   This is, thank god, a sharp contrast with the general mood of this past summer season.  I'm so glad to be working toward something again.  I guess if you give me an inch..I'll swim all over you.  I am retaking a couple of classes that I  had taken in my undergraduate degree, I didn't do so hot on the diagnostic exam.  I did fairly well on the history component; however, with the more technical aspects I apparently needed to have a refresher..a year long one.  As easy it would be to become defensive...I guess I'm a tit embarrased

much more recently...
Well it is a happy Saturday indeed!  School is...going..I can't shake the feeling that I'm the worst graduate student ever..I'm late, I don't always shower..sometimes I skip brushing my teeth in the morning because I'm running late..these things are definitely a newer development, normally my day could not have possibly begun without a shower and at least a 15 minute deliberation on the topic of attire.  However...graduate school really isn't such a terribly difficult step, in fact I've found that I'm considerably less stressed and most certainly less time consuming (as far as class schedules go).  I had a bit of a rough start, there was a part of me that was valiantly resisting the reality of school..staying up all hours, sluffing-off homework a bit..not really practicing..things of that nature..hence the "worst grad student" feelings.  Fortunately, I've begun to catch a good stride, and it's about time..now that school has been in session for the better part of a month...yikes!  Tyler and I are forging quite the friendship, he inspires me in a very unique way; and he is complimentary in an entirely unsolicited and genuine way..always.  This is a strange experience for me, I suppose it would be the cliche self-rightous assertion that I don't need compliments..but damn they feel good!  I will say that there seems to be a noticeable shift  (in more ways than one...) in the amount of time I spend within my circle of friends.  Not necessarily any additions..just a redistribution of time spent with current friends, and I'm glad to make the change.  Discovering things with newly intimate friends is exhilerating
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